Monday, January 21, 2019

Review: This is a Horror Book

This is a Horror Book This is a Horror Book by Charles Austin Muir
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed reading this quirky, shamelessly self-aware collection of horror stories from Charles Austin Muir. Muir is a very talented writer who isn't afraid to put himself into the story, elbow deep in blood, gore, and Charlize Theron. The first three stories in the book carefully balance offbeat humor, body horror, and explicit sex. "Skype Me at the Public Library" blends the thrill of public sex with cosmic horror and provides plenty of laughs right up to the big reveal. My personal favorite is "The Haddonfield Hit Squad," a more Bizarro than horror romp where Michael Myers is the narrator. Michael teams up with Freddy Krueger to form a trio of kill for hire criminals hellbent on wiping out everyone Laurie Strode's hometown. Oh, the other member of the trio? That would be Michael Myers' conjoined twin, a tiny Arnold Schwarzenegger, who gleefully spews one-liners from Commando while killing their marks. The narrative becomes more serious in "Notes on a Cosmic Horrorcore Album" which uses a recording to take the readers into the last moments of a suicide cult. I would have given five stars if the poem "Hood Sigil" had not been included. It's not that there is anything wrong with the poem, it just doesn't fit with the rest of the book, and it annoyed me. I still think you should purchase and read this collection. It's so full of surprises and dark wonders that it will keep you reading, and laughing, well into the night.

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Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Merry Christmas!

It may be messy, but it's a mess filled with love.  Merry Christmas to you and yours.  There's more than enough time horror.  Today, it's all about happiness!

Monday, December 24, 2018

Book Review: The Writhing Skies by Betty Rocksteady

The Writhing SkiesThe Writhing Skies by Betty Rocksteady




I fell in love with Betty Rocksteady's writing when I read her novella, "Like Jagged Teeth." It was a totally different take on haunted houses and loved ones returning from the dead. Rocksteady has totally out done herself with her newest short work, "The Writhing Skies." From start to finish, this novella is filled with dark and disturbing imagery that stays with you even after you have put the story away. The skies are black and filled with writhing, tentacled beasts. Horrific fireflies come by the thousands, filling all of the holes a human has to violate. Creatures wearing living cloaks stalk the streets looking for a sacrifice to offer a giant mouth in the sky. Sarah, the protagonist of the story, is a sympathetic character who undergoes a series of violations by these monstrous beasts. All of these pale in comparison to the terrible abuse she suffered at the hands of her boyfriend, Derek. Derek is a gaslighting, emotional and physically abusive sociopath. He cares only for his well being and will do anything to make sure he is not inconvenienced by anyone or anything.

If you like your horror darker than dark and aren't triggered by transgressive fiction, this is the perfect read for you.



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Saturday, December 15, 2018

Book Review: Oak Avenue by Brandi Reeds.

Oak AvenueOak Avenue by Brandi Reeds

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Doors Are Not Scary...

Remember when Monty Python released their "Contractual Obligation" Album back in 1980? No? Well, it was nearly 40 years ago, so bear with me. No one in Python really wanted to do another record, but they were required to do so under a contract with Chrysalis Records. "Oak Avenue" feels like it was something Ms. Reeds was either required to do or was something she promised to do and then forgot about until a day before the due date. While Monty Python's release was brilliant, Reeds' is dull and lazy. There are no original characters or ideas here. From the dream home that turns into a nightmare to the curmudgeonly old person who comes through in the end, it's all been written before and written better. Here's some real world advice, if you did up a haunted door that turns your partner into a violent raging alcoholic overnight, don't just put it back in the hole again. Look. It's a door. It's wooden (like the book's dialogue.) Chop the thing up and burn it. Feed it through a wood chipper like it's Steve Buscemi in Fargo. This is a very uninspired tale. I read it via Amazon Prime so at least the price was right.



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Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Book Review: Unbortion by Rowland Bercy, Jr.

UNBORTIONUNBORTION by Rowland Bercy Jr.

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


In the hands of Troma, a story about an aborted fetus that murders hobos and kills a pack of raccoons on its way back to its mother could be hysterical. Unfortunately, Bercy is so heavy handed when it comes to his opinion on abortion, it distracts from the story and a toil out of finishing the story. The mother is frequently referred to as a monster who decided to abort over a misunderstanding with the father. The doctor who performed the abortion is portrayed as a morally bankrupt man who sleeps with his nurses and laughs about dumping the fetuses in the trash. Bercy needs to develop a deft hand and learn to tell a story without clubbing the reader with his personal beliefs. That said, I will check out future releases from Bercy because I definitely do see a potential for awesome splatter/gore/horror/bizarro works to come.



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Monday, December 10, 2018

Book Review: Death Dance in the Woods by Jeff O'Brien

Death Dance in the WoodsDeath Dance in the Woods by Jeff O'Brien

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Candy is a gorgeous Goth/Death Metal stripper who flees from her horribly abusive boyfriend in the wee hours of the morning. Kendall is a former death metal grunter who gave up the rock and roll lifestyle to become an accountant. One day, Kendall loses his job and decides to take a road trip. In what seems to be a coincidence, Candy and Kendall wind up at the same seedy motel in a backwoods Massachusetts town and end up having lots of sex in between some seriously creepy events in the town. This story is funny, scary, and sexy all at once and deserves to be read by as many people as possible.



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Friday, May 25, 2018

Book Review: Snuff Film by Tim Miller

Snuff FilmSnuff Film by Tim Miller

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


In this corner, we have Justin, an out-of-work actor who is recognized for his role in a god-awful sing and dance cop show that bombed and wrecked his career. This show was so bad that total strangers will spit on Justin when they see him. At the moment Justin hits his lowest point ever, he gets a job offer from a producer who specializes in "underground" pornography. Justin dons a leather mask, becomes "Razer[sic]," and murders women on camera. Justin starts making and amazing amount of money, but becomes addicted to the Razer personality.

In this corner, we have Destiny, an actress who just can't get her break. She is an attractive, large-chested blonde who doesn't stand out among all of the other attractive, large-chested blondes in Hollywood. Destiny starts working in softcore doing fully clothed girl on girl girl on girl films. She then graduates to harder and more bizarre films. During the making of one of these features, Destiny mutilates of the other performs because she feared for her life. Destiny is subdued and delivered onset to Justin for him to kill on camera.

I will leave what happens next for you to read. While this may sound like it was inspired by A Serbian Film, it goes far beyond the horrors portrayed in that film. It contains scenes of extreme violence that hand around in your mind days after you have finished reading. While it may seem impossible, the story is not without its humor. The whole "Cop Rock" scenario and a particularly mind-melting group sex scene involving Destiny, a little person, a senior citizen, and a 500+ pound man both hit the funny bone while Razer hits the rib cage and all major organs.



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